Tits and ass

Damn....I woke up and don't have the body of Kate Moss. After consuming some coffee, showering, and paying more attention than usual to my shaving routine as body parts will be exposed, I head to the store. Numerous people have told me this salesgirl is a magician and will find undergarments to assist you in obtaining an hourglass figure. So I'm standing in front of a 3 way mirror in my underwear. It is humiliating. Next she measures me and says that I have a pear shape. Have I traipsed over here to hear that breaking news? I have known since I was 13 that I have a pear shaped body. Then she leaves me and my exposed body and the 3 way alone in the dressing room. How low can I go ??? After awhile, she comes in with bras, panties, bodysuits etc... You now remove your bra and lean over. Seriously. The entire time she is talking about the girls (which look like a couple of old women to me). She continues with this... we need to let gravity work....She's lucky I didn't slap her. She harnesses the beasts, adjusts straps and says there!! So with the top half taken care of, she gently suggests a body suit. It is like being molded into a sausage casing. Just getting the contraption on, caused me to sweat. She's not sure this will work with the dress. After catching my breath, I remove the torturous device. The end of this woeful tale is that I spent an obscene amount of money. Her closing words to me were, try them on with the dress and return the ones that don't work. I'm not really sure when I can muster up that type of energy again. There is also a voice in my head saying, it is going to be a long day. You will need to be comfortable not hot and contorted. Should my strength and resolve to try them on with the dress return, I will get my daughter to see if she sees a difference. I can tell you this, it will have to be a very dramatic change. Maybe, I can pray a little harder. Dear God.......