Hog Wart Hall

We live in an old tudor home that was built in the 30s. It is dark and dank and down right scary. I won't go into the basement. The attic only under dire need. There is a room we refer to in jest as the ballroom. It has a huge vaulted ceiling that looks like you are inside a whale's mouth. Two large chandeliers in the shape of wagon wheels hang from the ceiling. Go figure... This room is about 850 square feet. The walls in this area have given everybody great pause. We have all run our hands over it. Is it real stone? Is it cork? Is it a faux finish? What it is is UGLY. This house sits way up on a hill and you can't see it from the street. Our dear friends want to give an engagement party for our daughter. Precious wants to have the party at our home. Now this may seem simple. We just made a few minor adjustments... Cut down trees and clear a path. Level the path. Cover the path in wood chips. Thank God Precious has a very dear friend who assisted in this mammoth undertaking. Next on the list....Paint the ballroom. I'm not kidding, two coats. Next we need Air Conditioning in this room. Precious adds AC. Now, I was dead set against this as it would ruin the integrity of the room. I was wrong. Installing air conditioning in that room was pure genius. Now we have an ante room off of the ballroom. We used to refer to it as the shenandoah room. Bad ugly. Some type of untreated wood. Precious thinks we should paint it. So we buy some primer and commence. The primer disappeared. We try again. Again, the primer disappeared.
About our third coat. We decided this was a bad idea. The party is in 4 days so we have to finish this task. Precious decides to paint it a dark gold. If it disappears, it won't be as obvious. Guess what? Precious was right again...damn...
I hung a few paintings. Put in a palm tree and we ended up with an almost legitimate
bar. I am too old for renovations.