Desperado

We're getting down to the wire. Five weeks away. Where did the time go? I still haven't lost weight. I still haven't been to the eye doctor for new contacts. The facials that I was going to schedule, have been preempted by other expenses. I look like Sponge Bob Square Pants. Not kidding, a perfect square with tri-focals. I need a miracle. If I wake up tomorrow and have the body of Kate Moss, then my prayers have been answered. If not, it's off to the foundations department I go. Never, ever did I think I would visit the foundations department. But this is what I need. My boobs need to be lifted. My waist needs to be cinched. My butt needs to look teeny, tiny and my arms need to be strong, taut, willowy appendages. For this armor, I am willing to pay big bucks. Not looking forward to it but a girl has to do what a girl has to do. Will let you know how it goes.....