I'll diet tomorrow

I am overweight. There has not been a time in my life when I can't eat. Some people say they can't eat when they are stressed or worried or tired or sick. Me, I can eat anytime. Not only can I eat but I do eat. I love food. I like to read recipes. I like to try new recipes. I watch cooking shows on TV. I'm especially partial to Ina Garner the oh so talented Barefoot Contessa. I like sweet, savory, spicy and creamy foods. Cheese has it's own shelf in my refrigerator. Going to the produce stand, is like nirvana. I also like to drink. Wine would be a mainstay. One of the best inventions from the magnificent potato is vodka. I like vodka tonics or vodka and cranberry juice. Cosmopolitans are sublime. I love holding the chilled glass and seeing the droplets on the side. The limes look so beautiful. Margaritas send me to the moon. Not nasty ones but the ones that take a little effort. The secret to a good margarita is beer. So in summation I like to eat and drink. Entertaining is a blast. Having friends for dinner combined with drinking and eating...come on...it's fun. I like to set the table, arrange the flowers, try new recipes on my little guinea pigs. Sometimes this involves new drinks. Dawahs from Africa. One time I made some concoction so deadly, we were bedridden the next day....won't make those again. I have very good friends that don't have taste buds. Well, maybe they do, but they are not as developed as mine. In summation, I am fat. It is now weeks away from the wedding and I have gained weight instead of losing weight. I had to buy a MOB dress. Had to go to Omar the tent maker to find one. Does it look great? No, I look like a middle aged fat woman, swathed in material.
Guess it's time to diet. Think I'll start tomorrow.