Fruit of the vine

A friend of mine gave me the name of a wedding planner. Up until now we haven't met.
As a matter of fact, I haven't had a conversation with her in about 4 months. So I place the call. This poor lady had her wedding book stolen. This held information on all her upcoming weddings. Needless to say, she was happy to hear from me. We met over coffee and she was just perfect. Adorable, kind, easy going. Glad I made that call and handed over wedding day responsibilities to her. Then I spent an hour at the car wash. No joke. One hour. They did a great job but it is hard to make a silk purse out of a sows ear. So off to the liquor store I go. I have a card that supposedly gives me discounts. I don't think I have ever purchased one of those discounted items. The bottles I buy all seem to be full price. Desperate times call for desperate measures. We need alcoholic beverages. I get my handy dandy shopping cart (scary) and commence. Vodka, bourbon rum . Rum is too high. Next to the beer. Beer. Now to my area of the store.....wine... So I peruse and purchase and go home to fill my refrigerator. During these last few weeks, it seems to me that what once was normally consumed in a week, is somehow disappearing in an evening. Thus the puffiness. Okay, so time to get the dress. My daughter, one of her bridesmaids and I head to the dressmaker. The dress is a wrinkled mess. Oh you want the press package she asks. No I would like my daughter to walk down the aisle in something that looks like she has slept in it for a week. That will cost......Another add on...
We head home with no wedding dress. Where is that wine??????