I love, love, love our friends. They are kind, funny, intelligent, classy, compassionate good people. They have offered to give parties in honor of our
daughter... bridesmaids luncheon, engagement party, kitchen shower, around the house shower. They have given me books to read. Offerings of wine, notes from their
daughters' weddings, photos of their daughters weddings, wine, information on florists, photographers, caterers, wine, advise, use of their homes and clubs and their time, have all been generously presented. One friend even addressed the wedding invitations. Some friends assembled the wedding invitations. Some friends love the wedding experience. Some were overwhelmed. But this I know, I have been a slacker in their time of need.
Weddings are happening for six of my dear friends' daughters. Do you have any idea how comforting it is to have company on this voyage??? We have laughed, compared notes, shared information and generally waded through together. Friendship is so underrated. I value my friends more than they will ever know. Thanks be to God.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Start spreading the news
Technology is a wonderful but scary thing. People discovered the "big engagement" news on the internet via facebook. How about them apples?? People were calling and offering congratulations immediately. Stumped by the number of calls and the impossibly remote locations where some of our friends live, I had to ask. How did you hear the news? Facebook, friends on facebook, children on facebook. Meanwhile, I was raised back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was still composing my "list" of friends to notify. I wanted it to be special. I wanted to share the joy and hear their voices responding. Forget about it. It is my understanding that people even verify news by referring to facebook. For example, let's say I heard "John" was engaged. To be sure that nasty rumors weren't floating around, I would get on facebook and double check. If it is on facebook, then by golly IT IS FACT. Now in my day if Walter Cronkite said it, it was fact. So here's the deal, I've never been on facebook. Change is not my friend. It takes a long time for me to come around to the idea of things. Let's just take this blog. My daughter got engaged in December. In July, I decided to write the blog. Get it????? Processing new information can be challenging. I don't see any wires or antennae or carrier pigeons so how do words and thoughts and photos transmit through thin air? Facebook.
Maybe someday..........
Maybe someday..........
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The band
What band is playing at the reception? Do I look like Dick Clarke? I don't know any bands and can't we just rest? Never fear recommendations come forth. The selecting of the band process has been right down my alley. Establish a budget for said band, find a website that deals with bands, sit your fanny in front of your computer and click away. You get to listen to all kinds of music. Select your band. If they are available, you are done. That simple really. Done. Next????
I'm a green behind the ears novice when it comes to wedding planning. But I am going to pass along some advice......WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING. Post-It Notes are my best friend.
They are on my desk, in my purse, on the dashboard of my car, on the bedside table, on the bathroom mirror, on the coffee pot, the dog's leash, the toilet seat and if it is really urgent, on my arm. This is not a joke. Get a large stack. You will thank me later.
I'm a green behind the ears novice when it comes to wedding planning. But I am going to pass along some advice......WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING. Post-It Notes are my best friend.
They are on my desk, in my purse, on the dashboard of my car, on the bedside table, on the bathroom mirror, on the coffee pot, the dog's leash, the toilet seat and if it is really urgent, on my arm. This is not a joke. Get a large stack. You will thank me later.
Puzzles are fun. They are something to do at the beach when it rains. Planning a wedding is like putting together a puzzle. There are lots of pieces. The next necessary piece is a place for the reception. Numerous calls, lots of places not available. A friend steps in and offers us the use of her club very near the church.
Joy oh Joy...this will be perfect. Sleep finally comes.
Arrangements are made to view the beautiful space. I like it, my daughter and my
STBSIL like it but Precious doesn't like it. Precious thinks the space is too divided and we would be better served in one large space. Precious is my husband. Precious is an engineer. Precious comes home and puts each line item on a spread sheet. He also gets on the internet, does some research and lo and behold we have a ballroom for the reception!! Now I have been married to Precious for almost 30 years. In all that time,
I have been referred to as the social secretary. Our social schedule is my area of expertise. When he takes the reins, shock and disbelief are only a few of the feelings running rampant through my veins. Way to go Precious!!! You've done good.
Joy oh Joy...this will be perfect. Sleep finally comes.
Arrangements are made to view the beautiful space. I like it, my daughter and my
STBSIL like it but Precious doesn't like it. Precious thinks the space is too divided and we would be better served in one large space. Precious is my husband. Precious is an engineer. Precious comes home and puts each line item on a spread sheet. He also gets on the internet, does some research and lo and behold we have a ballroom for the reception!! Now I have been married to Precious for almost 30 years. In all that time,
I have been referred to as the social secretary. Our social schedule is my area of expertise. When he takes the reins, shock and disbelief are only a few of the feelings running rampant through my veins. Way to go Precious!!! You've done good.
Monday, July 26, 2010
So November appeals to everyone. It works with the oh so important football schedule,
the grueling heat of summer should have passed and it is not interfering with any major holiday. So I place my first call to the church. No that date in November is
not available. We pick a second, third and fourth choice. The lady at the church is
saying there is no clergy. Really!!! There is a conference, a retreat, classes,
previously booked weddings..etc. She has also told my daughter that she will have to
pay an extra fee since she is not a member of the church. Now, I have been a pledging member for too many years to count. I taught Sunday School. I greeted Newcomers. I participated in vacation bible school. I also worked at the church for a brief period filling in until a permanent replacement was on board. My daughter sang in the choir and was an acolyte. Not a member, my temperature is rising.
Time to call in the big guns. I hate to resort to such but please, what am I supposed
to do. Guess what???? It is a miracle. We have a proposed date for the wedding!!!!!
Unfortunately, there is a football game but not a MAJOR game. It could possibly be
warm but hopefully not hot. Looks like late September it is. Thank you Jesus.
the grueling heat of summer should have passed and it is not interfering with any major holiday. So I place my first call to the church. No that date in November is
not available. We pick a second, third and fourth choice. The lady at the church is
saying there is no clergy. Really!!! There is a conference, a retreat, classes,
previously booked weddings..etc. She has also told my daughter that she will have to
pay an extra fee since she is not a member of the church. Now, I have been a pledging member for too many years to count. I taught Sunday School. I greeted Newcomers. I participated in vacation bible school. I also worked at the church for a brief period filling in until a permanent replacement was on board. My daughter sang in the choir and was an acolyte. Not a member, my temperature is rising.
Time to call in the big guns. I hate to resort to such but please, what am I supposed
to do. Guess what???? It is a miracle. We have a proposed date for the wedding!!!!!
Unfortunately, there is a football game but not a MAJOR game. It could possibly be
warm but hopefully not hot. Looks like late September it is. Thank you Jesus.
RETROSPECTIVE
This may seem like I'm a little ticked off with my STBSIL however nothing could be
farther from the truth. I really am crazy about the guy. To his credit, he seemed
genuinely thrilled with his new monogrammed tray that I gave him for Christmas. Several weeks later, I discovered that I have given the poor man the same gift numerous times....his birthday, Christmas, Labor Day just to name a few. It seems
that if something appeals to me, I sink my teeth in and over do it. I am not one of these less is more people. More is more period. So he has now met most of the family
crazies (myself included)and survived. He is tough. The holidays are over and we have
things to do.
farther from the truth. I really am crazy about the guy. To his credit, he seemed
genuinely thrilled with his new monogrammed tray that I gave him for Christmas. Several weeks later, I discovered that I have given the poor man the same gift numerous times....his birthday, Christmas, Labor Day just to name a few. It seems
that if something appeals to me, I sink my teeth in and over do it. I am not one of these less is more people. More is more period. So he has now met most of the family
crazies (myself included)and survived. He is tough. The holidays are over and we have
things to do.
Oh my gawd!!!! They have already asked 500 people to be groomsmen. All hopes of a small, intimate family affair at our favorite vacation spot dashed. I mean my soon to be son in law (STBSIL)is an extremely likable fellow. He has a million friends, has been in a million weddings and now would like to return the favor. OK!!!! I am jumping the gun.....if you think a nice calm enjoy the process of being engaged period is upon us, you would be dead wrong!!!! When is the wedding, where is the wedding? where is the reception? People, it is the week of Christmas...NO ONE IS OPEN. I'll make some calls but things are not very promising.
When planning a wedding there are numerous considerations. Perhaps the most shocking
one here in the south is your favorite team's football schedule. I found a great weekend and the church would be beautiful. Guess what??? The betrothed could not
possibly marry then as all their friends will be at blah blah game. Now we must consider holidays, birthdays, football games, and scheduled manicures. Availability
at the church and reception site are way down on the list.
Another shocker... My daughter says, when are we having Christmas because STBSIL's
family is having theirs at.... and we need to arrange time to be with both families.
WHAT????? You mean I have to share????? Kindergarten is when I learned to share.
Also, the golden rule....I would like to throw both premises out the window. This
is my baby. Christmas will be at my house. It will last for two-three days. Christmas Eve service, Christmas morning breakfast, Christmas at my house, Christmas
with the entire family. Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and old friends. So let me get this straight. You plan on being at the Christmas service and our house?
Not so sure this marriage thing is a great idea.
When planning a wedding there are numerous considerations. Perhaps the most shocking
one here in the south is your favorite team's football schedule. I found a great weekend and the church would be beautiful. Guess what??? The betrothed could not
possibly marry then as all their friends will be at blah blah game. Now we must consider holidays, birthdays, football games, and scheduled manicures. Availability
at the church and reception site are way down on the list.
Another shocker... My daughter says, when are we having Christmas because STBSIL's
family is having theirs at.... and we need to arrange time to be with both families.
WHAT????? You mean I have to share????? Kindergarten is when I learned to share.
Also, the golden rule....I would like to throw both premises out the window. This
is my baby. Christmas will be at my house. It will last for two-three days. Christmas Eve service, Christmas morning breakfast, Christmas at my house, Christmas
with the entire family. Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and old friends. So let me get this straight. You plan on being at the Christmas service and our house?
Not so sure this marriage thing is a great idea.
Friday, July 23, 2010
I work in retail. The store caters to all desires of those to be married. We help
brides pick out their formal china, crystal, casual china and stainless. The entire
downstairs is full of merchandise to make the newlyweds new homes a showplace...Crystal bowls, silver candlesticks, cool serving trays, picture frames, decorative accessories, pitchers, decanters for the bar, desk accoutrement and finally those oh so special baby gifts. I love brides. I love brides' mothers. I love brides' grandmothers. I love brides' friends. But this bride, my bride...she has made me very, very emotional.
So now it is 10 days before Christmas. At work, we are a smidge crazy. Busy would
be an understatement. But here comes my baby and she has a gorgeous ring on her
left hand!!! It is a magnificent oval diamond ring. A three stone number...the center stone is larger than the two on either side. Tears, more tears. Customers look at me like I have 10 eyeballs. WE ooooHHHHHH and aaaaahhhhh and carry on like loons. Then I really have to focus. I need to get back to work...
By the way Mom, could we have (the fiance's) family for dinner to celebrate? But of
course!!! NO problem!!!! I'll get home at 6 and they can come at 7. No biggy.
Quick call to my husband......clean the bathroom, order take out and generally
pick up.
Bless his heart! He made a fire!!! Chilled the champagne and picked up the barbecue.
All I had to do was rearrange the furniture, move a few rugs, set the table and look
cool, calm and collected.
The family arrived...groom, his parents, his grandmother, his sister and her husband.
My son, my mom and her husband also were in attendance.
What a night!! Lots of hugging and kissing and toasting and drinking...thank God....drinking.
We think, no we know this is going to be a good thing...
brides pick out their formal china, crystal, casual china and stainless. The entire
downstairs is full of merchandise to make the newlyweds new homes a showplace...Crystal bowls, silver candlesticks, cool serving trays, picture frames, decorative accessories, pitchers, decanters for the bar, desk accoutrement and finally those oh so special baby gifts. I love brides. I love brides' mothers. I love brides' grandmothers. I love brides' friends. But this bride, my bride...she has made me very, very emotional.
So now it is 10 days before Christmas. At work, we are a smidge crazy. Busy would
be an understatement. But here comes my baby and she has a gorgeous ring on her
left hand!!! It is a magnificent oval diamond ring. A three stone number...the center stone is larger than the two on either side. Tears, more tears. Customers look at me like I have 10 eyeballs. WE ooooHHHHHH and aaaaahhhhh and carry on like loons. Then I really have to focus. I need to get back to work...
By the way Mom, could we have (the fiance's) family for dinner to celebrate? But of
course!!! NO problem!!!! I'll get home at 6 and they can come at 7. No biggy.
Quick call to my husband......clean the bathroom, order take out and generally
pick up.
Bless his heart! He made a fire!!! Chilled the champagne and picked up the barbecue.
All I had to do was rearrange the furniture, move a few rugs, set the table and look
cool, calm and collected.
The family arrived...groom, his parents, his grandmother, his sister and her husband.
My son, my mom and her husband also were in attendance.
What a night!! Lots of hugging and kissing and toasting and drinking...thank God....drinking.
We think, no we know this is going to be a good thing...
Thursday, July 22, 2010
My only daughter called at 2:00 in the morning. Gut wrenching fear.....are you ok? Are you
crying? What you're engaged!!!! We both cry.....Of course, I knew this was going to happen,
it was just of matter of when. My soon to be daughter's fiance had come to our home to ask for permission
to marry our daughter in early December. For the next two weeks, I couldn't talk to her or
anyone else for that matter as I have a huge mouth and keeping secrets from my daughter
is almost impossible. I didn't tell my mother or siblings or friends and basically stayed awake for two weeks trying to keep my mouth shut. How are you? Fine. Just about all I could muster. Black circles were under my eyes and creases formed around my mouth...you know...the new tight line of silence. At work, numerous mistakes...stupid mistakes...became my norm. I was distracted. Now he has popped the question and she said YES!!!!! He loves her, she loves him and the wedding planning begins.
crying? What you're engaged!!!! We both cry.....Of course, I knew this was going to happen,
it was just of matter of when. My soon to be daughter's fiance had come to our home to ask for permission
to marry our daughter in early December. For the next two weeks, I couldn't talk to her or
anyone else for that matter as I have a huge mouth and keeping secrets from my daughter
is almost impossible. I didn't tell my mother or siblings or friends and basically stayed awake for two weeks trying to keep my mouth shut. How are you? Fine. Just about all I could muster. Black circles were under my eyes and creases formed around my mouth...you know...the new tight line of silence. At work, numerous mistakes...stupid mistakes...became my norm. I was distracted. Now he has popped the question and she said YES!!!!! He loves her, she loves him and the wedding planning begins.
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