Happy Birthday to you

As previously stated, it is fall in the south and the weather is perfect. I started the day be going to a local farmer's market. Everyone was out and about with smiling faces and they had their dogs in tow. Pumpkin bread, root vegetables, ginger cookies, homemade honey,apples, hot tamales, ground feed beef.... What's not to love??? Favorite football team on tv and they won. So far, so good. Here's the deal about getting old. We were invited for dinner at 6:30. Normally, there would be drinking and carrying on until at least 8:30 or 9. Nope, we arrived, had dinner, birthday cupcakes and were home by nine. How sad is that!!! I think I am going to have a party next year. I am going to say...eat before you come, bring your on beverage, don't think about arriving before 9 and see if we can possibly bring ourselves to carry on until say...midnight. I am going to set the date instead of this frantic trying to work around everyone's busy schedule and say...hope you can make it.
Bitch... it's the new,older,wiser me.

Autumn Leaves

You gotta love your yard in October. I have zinnias and camellias blooming at the same time. It is hot during the day, chilly at night. Pumpkins and old Christmas lights
mingle together with the last of the basil. Still thriving...rosemary and mint.
The fig tree had quit producing that most magnificent fruit and now weeks after no figs, there are six more ripe ones waiting to be picked. Leaves are turning into brilliant autumn hues..And the brown ones do a little dance on their way down to the ground for their last hurrah!!! Some people have decorated their yards and homes for Halloween ( my favorite holiday) with witches, tombstones, skeletons, black cats and fake spider webbing. Now in my house, we have real spiders and their webbing. It is everywhere. One day all windows and doorways are clear and the next twice as many webs as the day before... go figure. The sky is blue and the air smells clean. Love a good fall day.

Hoarders

There is a new show on TV called Hoarders. It is FABULOUS!!! So sick and disgusting and I am deathly afraid that I have all the traits. I love a good yard sale. My friends and I go to this show once a month that is two warehouses full of debris.
It is so large that it takes up two sides of the expressway and you get on a bus
to get to the other side. What are we looking for? ....Stuff. We love our purchases and exclaim over them and then try to figure out where in the world we are going to display our new treasures. (I am hoarding.) So now that the wedding is behind me, I need a new project and I thought I'd clean out the attic.
Again, the hoarder in me raises it's ugly head. What is in all those boxes? Dolls.
The original Barbie, Ken and Midge. They can't possibly be worth a plug nickel as they have been played with beyond belief. They were queen and king in my make believe world growing up. I have Madame Alexander dolls, American Girl dolls, dolls from foreign lands, Dorothy, Tin Man, Lion dolls on yellow brick road stands. The hoarder in me can't bear to part with them. I have a huge tub of Beanie Babies. Would I give those to Goodwill? Not on your life. I have a plastic tub of ......you are not going to believe this.....Happy Meal toys. I swear they are cute. Snow white and the 7 dwarfs, Bambi and friends, you name it I have it. There is a container of match box cars, one of plastic dinosaurs, one of Playmobile stuff. There is an entire area devoted to trains. We have track, cars, switches etc. There are containers of vases and I do use them periodically. The worst are the containers of family photos, family bibles, family quilts that my great grandmother made, pillowcases that have been embroidered by great aunt so and so. Please help me.
I can't bear to part with any of it. On the TV show, these people are upset that they are having to part with their junk. My heart breaks for them. I too love to hang on to sentimental items. I have a plastic container of Old Christmas cards because they have the pictures of my friends families as the children grow up.
Love them. I love children's books.....Good night Moon, Miss Rumpheous, Quick as a Cricket, Little Women, Tar Beach, Where the Wild Things are, Polar Expres...get the idea..Still have all of them. So if you have any ideas on how I can part with these, please, please, please let me know. I will say the saying...wait til you move does not get me motivated. I have moved them numerous times. If you need me to help you get rid of things, I am your girl. Just don't think of coming to my house.

Talk, talk, talk

My mother is one of the great talkers of all time. She loves to talk on the phone,
come over and talk and just talk in general. Here is the deal, now in her more mature years, her lips stick together!! No kidding. Her mouth is so dry that her lips stick together. Yesterday, I asked her if she had on a teeth whitening strip as her mouth looked like she had in a retainer. No. My lips are sticking to my teeth. She drinks water and sprays some wetting agent into her mouth but none of the solutions seem to work. When I answer the telephone, I know it is my mom because instead of saying Hello there is a great clearing of the throat. This clearing action can go on for quite some time. I feel sorry for her. God, I hope it's not inherited.....

This land is your land

As I entered the church today, I felt such peace. I loved the music, the flowers, the sermon. This is gay pride week and at our 11:15 service, there is a large portion of the congregation that happens to be gay. It made me thankful that there is a place for everyone to feel welcome, to worship and to be appreciated as part of our community. There seems to be some strange backlash of attitudes in our society. People are ridiculed for their sexual preference, there political stand, the color of their skin. What happened to the greater good for all mankind?? Not so long ago, we lived in midtown. Lots of diversity in midtown. Now we live in an area that is a little more shall we say...conservative. I miss midtown. The urine on the steps...not so much. But the cast of characters was the stuff of legends. Take the man in the pet store. Worth the trip just to have a little chat. Now, I walk by people playing tennis, kids playing football, people on the golf course and it too is glorious just not as colorful.

You work hard for the money

Today was the first Saturday that I have worked since my daughter's wedding. You'd think with both state football teams playing, we'd have nothing to do. You'd be wrong.
Brides and their mothers, brides and their fiances, brides and their best friends steadily marched through the door. I felt a strange sense of calm. I looked in their eyes and saw anxiety. They put a lot of pressure on themselves. As they pick out their china, instead of going with what they love, there is a great concern... What if I don't like it in 20 years? Go with your gut. Get what you love. If you settle and don't love it now, you will never use it I say. They are all endearing. You can almost see what their soon to be husbands love about them. They want their spouses to love their china. Most spouses don't care. The men smile and squirm and look like they would rather be almost anywhere but in the china department of a store on a Saturday in October. We hand out ring cleaner and assure them that their choices are perfect.
Two weeks ago a wedding, today work. What a difference a day makes.

La Boheme

A dear friend of mine called and asked if I'd like tickets to the opera. He was going to be in Dubai...can you imagine. Of course, I'd love the tickets. So I ask Precious if he would like to attend. He said yes. Two hours before the performance, Precious opted out of being my escort. He has done this before. First time...shame on you,
second time...shame on me. Never again. (I'm thinking he's not so Precious at this time). After a quick call to my cousin, all is arranged. We met, have a drink, watch the people come in and enjoy the performance so very, very much. People watching is grand. First dates, young lovers, old lovers, friends. The attire runs the gamut from very formal to blue jeans. I am somewhat envious of those who are enjoying the opera with their spouses. We no longer attend movies, opera, ballet, symphonies or plays together. I love all of the above. Precious doesn't care for any of the above. He likes football games and some concerts. Are we going to face old age alone pursuing our own interests or do we shut up and compromise for the sake of our spouse? I don't know. What I do know is that when I'm in my car, I turn up the volume of my CD of Musetta's Waltz and love every single note.

Soul Sisters

The wedding is over and it was perfect except for my lying, cheating florist. Perhaps you will notice a change in my attitude about him. None of the flowers were what was ordered, candles weren't lit and the ribbon on the bridesmaids bouquets was no where near the color of the dress. As of now, I haven't received a a decent explanation just I'm sorry. The happy couple has returned from their honeymoon and are both back at work. We just moved my mother in law into a one bedroom apartment from a 4 bedroom house and quite frankly, I am a little pooped. Would love to get the wedding gifts to their rightful owner (the happy couple) but space is at a premium in their home. At this juncture, we are just waiting on the photos from my photographer. Here is another shocker, I joined the dreaded facebook. I know, I know....but I wanted to see the photos that people were posting. It is worth it. I don't comment on every little thing as I don't think people care if I need to go to Target. I am still trying to figure out how to use it. Post, comment, profile...I don't know how to do anything with photos and if it weren't for a good friend of my daughters, I wouldn't be on there in the first place. If you think I should continue this blog, please let me know. I don't lead an exciting life and it might bore you to tears...Your thoughts please!!!! Take care and to all you past, present and future MOB's.....Shine that tiara....Wear it proudly....If you get discouraged, know that all of us have walked in your shoes, feel your pain and know that it is a lot like childbirth....you only remember the joy!!!! God Bless.

Make a joyful noise

Part two of the wedding day continues with the recessional from the church. The organist is banging out Toccata by Widor (very loud piece of music), the church bells are ringing and the bagpiper is blowing away. Yeah!!! They are husband and wife and now after some photos, everyone is ready to PARTY. The ballroom is elegant and has white relief like Jasper Wear...you know... an old Wedgwood plate. It is a soft green and is awash in candlelight. Everyone loves the food, the cake, the band.

I must take a moment to brag on my son. He was kind, attentive, handsome and helpful to all of our friends. He is cool under fire and I love him to pieces.

Next we greet everyone and the dancing starts. There was some fabulous dancing going on and someone who will remain nameless asked them to lighten up.????? We were all loving it. This band played Santana, Louis Armstrong, Motown, Lady Gaga, Maroon Five. Call me for referrals. Excellent!!!

Food superb. I didn't eat a bite but that was the word around the room. A southern menu was planned with fried green tomatoes over succatash, barbecue pork on sweet potatoe biscuits, shrimp and grits, lamp chops, tenderloin, salmon. A true sampling of the south's faves...

The cake was decorated in the pattern of my daughters veil. On top rested two of the cutest love birds you've ever seen. They were made out of sugar and the bride bird wore a veil and the groom a bow tie and top hat. The wedding cake was a cheesecake and each layer a different flavor. There was none left....I think they liked it.

So everyone ate and drank and danced and my daughter and now SIL loved every minute.
As the night came to a close, paper cones with their names and wedding date on the inside were filled with rose petals. They were showered and into the limo they went.

I must say my photographer was a gentleman. He, his wife and daughter were unbelievably easy going and they must have been exhausted at the end of the night cause they never sat down. You want a calm photographer. They didn't bark. They were
comforting and wonderful.

My wedding day right hand girl was the best. Loved her to bits. Don't ever let anyone talk you out of it. She pinned on flowers, set up the guest book table, loaded our car with the wedding gifts, leftover food and some flowers. She was so
attentive to the bride and groom and upon their arrival she had a change of shoes,
food and cold drinks for them to enjoy.

We head home. Family comes over and at 2 I think our home was quiet for the first time that day. Was it worth it??? You betcha. Do my feet hurt? You betcha.
Thanks be to God for friends and family and their willingness to gather around and surround the new couple with love and best wishes.

Going to the chapel and I'm gonna get married

This morning has not gone as I envisioned. I was over served last night. I wake up and have had four hours sleep. Beauty requires more hours than that. We have our dog, my son's dog and my daughter's dog at our house to ensure that no one tries to break in and take the wedding gifts. I feel so horrible that I encourage the dogs to get on the bed and feed them the crackers I wish I could stomach. My daughter says there is something wrong with this picture. I am getting you water and crackers and it's my wedding day. I know. I know. Try to rally. I'd do a couple of necessary things like load the guest book and pens and have to rest. This went on for several hours. Sewing kit...check, change of shoes...check..recline. Veil check, dress check....recline. About 10:45 we headed off for our massages. Terrific idea. No kidding. It released the toxins and relaxed my muscles and with the help of the massage and some iced tea....I'm back. Here come's the hairdresser. Next the make up girl arrives. One bridesmaid, then another and another and another. Controlled chaos may be an apt description. Hairdryers are blowing. Pictures are being snapped. Nipple tape???? bosom tape....what???? To say the least, it was a learning experience. Laughter and hugs and laughter. Girls spread out on my bed with their feet elevated because it is almost as good as a nap. My turn... I had to remove make up before I even went downstairs. I looked like I could be the fat lady singing in the opera. The men have all met at a club for food. Upon their return, Precious goes to bed. My son showers and puts on his tux and heads off to manland as our home is pretty much awash in girly, girl activites. Time to wake up Precious and then we really have to make hay. Getting the dress in the car is a feat in itself. We are off. Precious, my daughter and me. Breathe.

We arrive at the church and it is hot and humid. The brides' room is small and crowded and hot. After awhile, I clear the room. Get my daughter with much assistance (those covered buttons are a bear) into the dress. Put on the veil and she heads outside with the photographer. Thank God and I mean really thank you God that I won the wedding planner argument. She takes the guys their flowers and I hand out the girls. We are all a little flustered and I might (most probably) assumed a nazi role. After the photographer finishes, all the girls come inside and cool off.
My angel, saint friend had brought water and sandwiches. Little water and food and great air conditioning and laughter resumes.

At this point, I have no idea what is happening with the men folk. Here comes Precious. There is no button for his tux. Do I have a safety pin? I get one and pin him together and try my best not to claw his face off. Lucky for him the wedding planner comes and says five minutes. I try to stay in the moment. Off we go and there is my handsome son. He has already seated two grandmothers and now gets to seat me. Right when we get ready to head down the aisle the music stops. We wait. Here comes a catchy tune and off we go.

In a few minutes, my STBSIL and his groomsmen all file out behind the priest.
Then Trumpet Voluntary. The bridesmaids come and with great fan fare......the bride.
We all stand. She is beautiful and Precious looks dashing. Their voices were clear, the readings meaningful, the homily perfect, the music oh so beautiful....There was a solo by a 19 year old baritone. We were his first wedding. His voice could blow your skirt up...I pronounce you husband and wife and just like that................
they are married.

There's a tear in my beer

Let's just say that it was grand. A gorgeous room. An open bar. Friends and family who have traipsed across the country to be with your daughter and STBSIL. They serve this bacon that you'd kill for. Beautiful flowers on every table and a slide show. Precious has been a tad bit emotional today anyway. Then they display his baby girl's life on the big screen and I swear at one point, he stood in the room and openly wept. His filter was not working. You know Somewhere over the Rainbow playing and your baby's life in photos on the projector. It was hard on a dad. I had the good sense to quit watching but every now and then, I could feel the now familiar catch in the throat. Dinner was out of this world. Toasts. The best man and maid of honor had props. It was extremely moving. Strong, kind, loyal, tenacious, motivating were among the adjectives most used. This makes a mom very proud. Thank you and good-bye. Oh hell no. We are going to a dive bar. It smells like an ashtray. Most of the clientele look like they are five. I ask for a Savignon Blanc and they are clueless. I was forced to drink vodka. Pink champagne was poured and thankfully my brain said NO NO NO never drink the pink. We head home. I apparently did a load of laundry and removed my contacts. Hello, Betty Ford........

Downtown where all the lights are bright

We live in a huge city. Traffic is awful. Our church is downtown. The rehearsal is at 5:00 on a Friday. Get the picture. Get dressed and get out of your house and pray you are not stuck somewhere. Now we are all together. We pray. I love our priest. He is a no nonsense kinda guy. He's young and has three children and I think we got downright lucky on the rotation. There are two wedding planners. Between the priest and the planners and the wedding party, everyone gets a pretty good idea about what they are supposed to do. This is a brief description of the wedding party. Two greeters, three readers, 8 groomsmen, 4 ushers, 7 bridesmaids, 2 grandmothers, 2 sets of parents and one bride and groom. We are a large and unruly mass of humanity. There has been some uncertainty about the time we can get into the church tomorrow. Onto more important issues...the rehearsal dinner. We prepare to go across town.

We gather together

It's 2AM after the wedding. I am going to back track. The bridesmaids' luncheon.
You gather together your daughter, your mom, your sister in law, your niece, two of your very best friends and your daughters friends, your STBSIL's mom and grandmother and mix it all together with a place of great nostalgia and some of the best chicken salad in the world.....Voila...It's a moment. A moment embedded in your heart that you will always, always be thankful for. We toasted my daughter and each told something special about her. My filter didn't work. I was a mess. My favorite moment...the day she was born and every day since. Her friends are so kind and loving. They are old friends in their young lives. Her maid of honor she's known since she was four and the most of the other girls since she was in 6th grade. Now that's saying something. I say that because I have my core group. My grade school friends, my high school friends, my college friends and my adult friends. I am thankful for girlfriends. They are strong and soft and get you through your bad days. I am thankful for my mother teaching me about the value of friendship. I am thankful for my daughter and showing me that she too values the girls she holds most dear to her heart. I am sounding redundant but Thank you God. Thank you Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Our lives are blessed.

Ghost busters

Rise and shine and give God your Glory, Glory. So I head to pick up the dress in the gigantic vehicle. I get there and I swear the dress is wrinkled. You don't want to know what I paid to have the dress pressed. The people assure me this fabric doesn't
iron out well. Now, if I were a dress designer, I would only design dresses out of fabric that looks together. After some steaming, the nice tall man who is over 6 feet tall places it in the car. I get home and realize that I am a foot shorter than he and none of the moldings over the doors are tall enough. It comes to me to haul this sucker up the stairs and rig it over the banister. That way the thing can hang two stories. Then I take rubber bands and weave them around the hangers and loop it around one of the posts. This was a precautionary step should (heaven forbid) the dress fall down.It looks like the ghost of weddings past floating around like that. Kind of eerie. Next I head to the hairdresser for a run through on my hairdo. Queen Victoria had nothing on me. Off to the grocery store as the family is coming for dinner. My daughter and I head off to get a mani/pedi and it was the highlight of my week. Upon our return my STBSIL, my son, my brother in law and his girlfriend, my daughter and a friend all sit around and have a cocktail. Off the young folks go and I set the table and thaw the frozen dinner. Prior to this shendig, how did I ever fill my days?

Tara's theme

Lawdy Miss Scarlett, I don't know nothing about birthin babies. Well neither do I.
You'd think after nine months of planning all questions would be answered, but NO.
My email is full. My cell phone has more messages than Carter has liver pills and
each call is interrupted by another call. I worked today and will tomorrow. Taking the dogs to the groomers. Delivering a gift. Returning clothes to the store because on Wednesday and only on Wednesday do you get an extra 20% off. I think this must be the labor portion. Like Prissy, I find my self throwing my hands in the air, swirling my skirt and singing under my breath. I am not going to worry about that now as tomorrow is another day. Truly my mind has Gone with the Wind.

I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair

Terrific things happen when you old. You get wiser. You have a cleansing. You really only do things that you want to do with people you want to be with. No more obligatory junk. You don't sweat the small stuff and if you do, you don't remember it the next day. Some not so great things also happen when you get old. The neck. That thing flapping in the breeze .....oh my God...it's my arm. Hair. Gray hair emerges. I'm not talking about just on your head. Eyebrows, eyelashes and other unmentionables. But strange hairs appear. Before you see them or any of your friends have the guts to mention, uh I think there is a 4 inch long hair on the side of your neck. Run to the mirror with tweezers and pluck that sucker out. Here is a great fear of mine. What if I'm laid up in the hospital? If you are true friend, you will promise to survey the landscape and take whatever measures you deem necessary to make me presentable to others. Friends wax and pluck and shave. Waxing is great if you want to have skin that looks like a red hot tamale for 4 days. Plucking...immediate but painful. Also, more time consuming. Shaving. Dermatologists say all women should shave their faces. This would mean commitment daily. I'm not so good at anything that absolutely, positively must be done every single day for the rest of my life. When did I (the girliest of girly girls) have to worry about looking like a man????

Fairest Lord Jesus

Thank you Jesus. Today the time of the college football game has been announced.....
it is at Noon. Thank you Jesus. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and all is right with the world!!! Our florist came by to show us the linens and they were fabulous. Thank you Jesus. He left us some beautiful flowers. Normally he takes them to the nursing home but he said we looked like we could use them??? My mother brought over champagne so we spent the afternoon drinking all of it plus some that I had on hand and showing all the magnificent gifts to friends that dropped by. It was casual, relaxing and fun. Thank you Jesus. Precious made a pot of chili so I didn't have to cook dinner. Thank you Jesus. My daughter is tucked in her bed getting her beauty sleep and I pray she feels the love. I do. I am humbled and grateful. Thank you Jesus.

Fruit of the vine

A friend of mine gave me the name of a wedding planner. Up until now we haven't met.
As a matter of fact, I haven't had a conversation with her in about 4 months. So I place the call. This poor lady had her wedding book stolen. This held information on all her upcoming weddings. Needless to say, she was happy to hear from me. We met over coffee and she was just perfect. Adorable, kind, easy going. Glad I made that call and handed over wedding day responsibilities to her. Then I spent an hour at the car wash. No joke. One hour. They did a great job but it is hard to make a silk purse out of a sows ear. So off to the liquor store I go. I have a card that supposedly gives me discounts. I don't think I have ever purchased one of those discounted items. The bottles I buy all seem to be full price. Desperate times call for desperate measures. We need alcoholic beverages. I get my handy dandy shopping cart (scary) and commence. Vodka, bourbon rum . Rum is too high. Next to the beer. Beer. Now to my area of the store.....wine... So I peruse and purchase and go home to fill my refrigerator. During these last few weeks, it seems to me that what once was normally consumed in a week, is somehow disappearing in an evening. Thus the puffiness. Okay, so time to get the dress. My daughter, one of her bridesmaids and I head to the dressmaker. The dress is a wrinkled mess. Oh you want the press package she asks. No I would like my daughter to walk down the aisle in something that looks like she has slept in it for a week. That will cost......Another add on...
We head home with no wedding dress. Where is that wine??????

Working at the carwash

So today we are picking up the dress. That would be the wedding dress. I hope the motorcade has the street blocked and the police lead the way...just kidding... The alterations lady did suggest we pick it up in a van or SUV or ATV or whatever. Guess what this involves???? Getting the monster cleaned. This vehicle belongs to Precious. Precious is anti-littering and apparently anti throwing anything away. This heap hauls grass, plants, tools and boating paraphernalia. This boating equipment involves ski vests, gloves, shoes, wrenches, oil and other items that I can't name. This car has hauled the dogs and that means lots of hair. It is old, dirty, greasy and full of take out coffee cups, straws, and wrappers. The back window has quit working. He keeps a knife on the front seat to open the passenger side door. So now it is time to pick up this most marvelous garment. Guess I'll be heading to the car wash.

You are woman, I am man

It is nine days before the wedding. I ask Precious if his clothes are in order and should we go look for shirt, tie, studs etc. His response, well I haven't thought about it. After some grumbling, he digs into his closet and emerges with several shirts. Most are different neck sizes. This one is fine he declares. I offer to take it to the cleaners to get it pressed. He shrugs and says ok. Hello. You might like to get it together for your daughter's wedding!!! I think about my son at college. He loves the ladies and they love him. They are clean, their clothes are clean and their hair has been coiffed. He probably showered, found clothes from some pile, brushed his teeth and left. If men only had a clue. Ladies like to preen. We think about the occasion and what we should wear. Men...not so much. I think of the day after my daughter was born. I was in the hospital requiring a third epidural as the first one had gone to deep. Your spinal fluid leaks out and your brain rubs against your skull.
You get a slight headache. They fix this by giving you another epidural.. Where was Precious? On the golf course handing out cigars. This pretty much sums up the difference.....Men are from Mars.